Goodbye house

When we first moved here, I loved this house. Things had become quite unpleasant where we were in Brighouse and it felt like a new start.

By the time we left to go to Finland, I hated living here. I didn't feel safe and I dreaded coming home from work.

I remember the first time we called in when we were back for a holiday. Our first lot of tenants had trashed the place and it felt personally invasive.

Now we're going through with the sale. We've popped back to clear our last bits out and that's it. We probably won't come here again. I can't say I'm sad to get rid of it but there are a lot of extreme emotions attached to this house. Today it just feels a bit weird.

Why birthdays are pointless

I remember at some point last autumn, hearing that Tom Jones would be performing at the Open Air Theatre in Scarborough. Now, I haven't been to many music concerts and he is, in spite of his age, rather appealing, so I mentioned to Neil that it might make a good birthday treat. Josh does the same - he finds events that he would love to go to and asks for it as a birthday present, even though it's not remotely close to his birthday. Anyway, after some investigations, we realised that he was also performing at York Races (Tom Jones, not Josh) and that the tickets were cheaper there and included an evening at the races. It seemed silly not to.

Those of you who know me well will know that I have some concerns about outdoor events in summer and I did wonder whether wasps like to watch the races too and listen to a smiley Welsh chap sing or whether they would get bored and start seeking out people to torment. However my fears were unfounded and we had a wonderful insect-free afternoon and evening.

Having worn a dress (rare event) for the occasion, one thing I wanted was a nice picture of me in my wheelchair. I haven't really got a photo I like. I know some would wonder, when I can stand for photos without difficulty, why I want one. It's hard to explain that but days like yesterday do kind of help.

If we had done our evening at the races before I got my chair, I would have been in pain before we even got into the grounds. Walking from the car park to the gate and then standing in a queue for 45 minutes would have been too much. My legs and back would be agony! If I'd have made it inside, there was seating in the stands but it was plastic tip-up seats. Ten minutes of sitting on them would have been quite enough. As for fighting my way through the bar to the toilets, I would have been jostled about and probably got an elbow in my back. My wheelchair means that all of that stuff isn't a problem. I can be out for just over 7 hours and still not be in any more pain than normal. That makes my chair my friend. I actually really love it. I love being independent and being able to enjoy days out like we did yesterday.

So I know I've already shared this photo on Facebook but I really like it, so I'm putting it on here too.

As for the races, it was my first time at a 'posh' race meet. I think our last one together was at Bangor-on-Dee when we were camping there. It was totally unposh! I'm not really into horse racing and I'm certainly not a gambler. It was wonderful though to spend the day with Neil - he looks gorgeous in a suit! - and just relax and enjoy the atmosphere.

Can we settle now?

The last two years have been a bit of a whirl! Actually, it goes back just over two years to the day we decided we were moving back here (which is where this blog began). At that point, we knew the future was an unknown quantity but we had a fairly set idea of how it might pan out. We decided on Scarborough as a base. Josh would carry on as normal with his daily 2m commute from his bed to his desk. Andy would go to 6th form college and do A levels. Neil would find work in finance, probably not in Scarborough, unless he got really lucky, but possibly in York or Leeds - doable by train. I would get a job in a village school as head of a primary school that 'requires improvements' and turn it around. We had a plan. Plan A.

Plan A didn't happen. Well, it did for the boys but not for Neil and me. We did both find work but only temporary contracts. We found a house to rent but then ended up moving after 6 months and again after another 10 months and then living half in Scarborough and half in Goole. Oh yeah, Goole. After just over a year, Neil got work in Goole and then almost immediately, so did I. Scarborough to Goole is a rubbish commute so we had to move. When you have a 17 and 19 year old, you expect them to soon move out but there's something a bit weird about the parents moving out.

Anyway, we're both now permanent (as much as any job is permanent) working for East Riding of Yorkshire Council. We are both thoroughly enjoying our work. I do sort of miss aspects of teaching but not as much as I thought I would. Now, the latest development is that we have bought a house, which hopefully means no more moves.





The area where we are now living is quiet and pretty. It's not what I ever imagined Goole to look like. Now we have the exciting task of adapting the house so that I can try and do 'normal', whatever that might be. First is the bathroom. The bathroom has been ripped out and we are in the process of putting in a walk-in shower room. It's taking ages but hey, life in Finland taught us to cope with this kind of thing. Why were swimming pools originally invented?

#mymilestone

It seems that every day and every week is some kind of awareness week for some illness or condition. It gets to the point where the awareness gets lost in the sea of awareness days. Then by the time everyone on social media has got around to sharing the info, we've had three months of autism awareness or whatever else it might be.

Yesterday evening, I spotted a post from the Spinal Injuries Association (SIA), telling me that it was spinal injuries awareness day. I'd never heard of them until a few months ago but I really want to sing their praises. A little while ago, starting a new medical procedure coincided with us moving house and although the hospital had given me a starter pack, this quickly ran out. Prescriptions crossed over, got lost and emergency ones had to be written. Then I found that no pharmacy stocks the stuff I need. It all came to a head one day when my final hope rang on collection day to tell me I would have to wait another 2 weeks. That was when I sought help in the CES Facebook group and several people suggested ringing SIA Healthcare.

You know those days, when you just wish somebody would be kind, just for a few minutes? Well enter Natalie. Natalie spoke to me like somebody who understood how important this stuff was to me and my health. She took my details and promised to contact my GP and get everything sorted but meanwhile she would immediately dispatch the stuff I needed (which was good as I had only one left). She told me how they work...

They call or email you every month to do a stock check. Then they contact the GP and send everything you need straight to your house... and all for FREE! Not only that, but they send all the non-medical related stuff that you can't get on prescription and that would cost a lot of money, as a free gift.

This particular medical procedure has been my greatest fear since the day of my injury. It is down to one amazing nurse, who has worked with me since we moved back here, and the SIA that I have been able to adapt and overcome my fear. They truly are a God-send! I want to raise awareness of spinal injury but if you know someone who has had a spinal injury, please tell them about SIA. They make the day to day stuff more bearable because they get it. They know the things that just have to be done right.

#mymilestone Thank you so much to Karen (my nurse) and Natalie!

Spring Harvest

We have just had an amazing week!!!

It isn't easy to pick out highlights because there have been so many. Having spent a good few months living separately from the boys, one of the best things was spending some time together. We also had Andy's girlfriend and his best mate's sister with us too. It was great to get some time to relax together after a tiring day.

The evening celebrations in the Big Top were brilliant! We had Ben Cantelon leading worship and there were literally thousands of people there. It was full every night.

For me, the highlight was last night. They asked people to pray for each other for healing (those who needed it). Neil prayed for a lady who was in one of those laying down wheelchairs, with every body part supported. She didn't look very with it at all when we arrived. By the end of the time of prayer, she was standing up and talking. We saw her this morning and she told us she had walked to the Big Start and back and had been dancing in the fountains with her kids. I don't have all the answers when it comes to healing but I do believe that God heals today and last night there were many miracles.

Another more minor miracle was seeing Josh playing 5-a-side football. I don't think I've ever seen him move so fast! They got through to the finals and came second. This was just before the semis.

We're home now and listening to all the new songs on Spotify. Search Spring Harvest New Songs and have a listen. Booking for next year opens on 24th June at 8am. Telephones at the ready!

I want to be a mum!

When I was about 5 years old, a teacher (Mr Bird, I think) asked us all what we wanted to be when we grew up. I think most of the girls wanted to be princesses, which Mr Bird seemed to take as a realistic job prospect. When he got to me, I said I wanted to be a mummy. I remember the look on his face and the sniggers from the other kids, as they tried to convince me that being a mummy is not a proper job.

Yesterday reminded me of that day. Fortunately, I never let them convince me that my dream job was any less 'proper' than being a princess. I'd have been a rubbish princess anyway. I haven't been the best mummy either. I know it's easier to remember the times we've got it wrong than the times we got it right. However, there were two or three things that we thought were really important as we brought up the boys. One was that they would know we loved and accepted them for who they are. Obviously Josh's long hair was a challenge for Neil and Andy's ability to mutilate the English language and omit punctuation on Facebook was my challenge... but hair and punctuation aside, they're our sons and we love them.

Another thing that we wanted for them, was independence. We wanted them to be able to do as much as they could for themselves. It would have broken my heart if they had reached adulthood unable to cook, clean and generally take care of their own needs. As it happens, that worked out well for me when I suddenly became unable to do so much for myself but it was really more about them. I think that independence brings a sort of confidence that life can be tackled and problems can be solved.

The most important thing though, was that they would develop a faith of their own. Obviously, they have been brought up as Christians and in some respects it was likely they would follow but they don't agree with us on every aspect of faith and they have each taken their own path through and to faith. Andy was baptised as a child, just before we went to Finland and at that time Josh didn't feel ready. We've tried to let them go at their own pace and not put pressure on them.

Yesterday was brilliant! Josh was baptised. His testimony was brief and to the point. It mentioned his struggle with autism as a young child and those that helped him. He said that Jesus saved him from himself. I think that sums Josh up. He knows himself and he knows Jesus. Just as well really, since the pastor looks like he's trying to strangle him!

Age

I'm still thinking about these nine protected characteristics. Today I'm thinking about age. How is age a protected characteristic? Everybody has an age. Most people get to be a range of ages in the lifetime. So it's about not discriminating on the basis of age.

This morning was brilliant! At church we had youth service. I think the idea of a youth service is quite funny. I know what it means. It means the youth run the service and everybody else just joins in. When I went to church as a young person that made a lot of sense because for the most part, it was old people who ran the service. So when we had a youth service, it meant something different was happening. Nowadays though, at our church, the youth are involved in every service. Josh plays the piano almost every week. Andy either plays the drums or the guitar. Our young people are involved in almost everything we do.

In work I guess we discriminate against old people, especially the over 65s. I mean, we basically make them retire. But socially, the over 65s are still reasonably acceptable. For Neil and I, one of our favourite activities is going out with an over 65… over 75… over 85 actually! Taking my Nan for afternoon tea is just about the most fun two people can have on a Sunday afternoon. In fact, it's one of the things we are missing now we have to scoot back for work after Sunday lunch.

No, I don't think I discriminate on the basis of age. I still go gooey over a newborn baby. I love being with our youth on a Friday evening. My little brother and sister, who are now both in their 30s, are still my best friends. So do other people discriminate? There was an old lady sat opposite me in church today. I thought she wouldn't like the music of the youth service, but after the service she went round telling everybody how much she'd enjoyed it, how amazing the youth were, etc.

No! Age is just a number. It doesn't really mean anything.

New Job

I haven't written for a while, as I've been adjusting to my new job. Because I'm working for a local authority, I'm pretty restricted in terms of what I can post about work. I can probably get away with revealing that my post is Area Manager for Employment, Education and Skills... but if I told you where, I'd have to kill you!

One of the things in education and life in general that is a big topic at the moment, is The 2010 Equality Act. I've got displays all over the place and I am constantly aware of the nine protected characteristics. What strikes me, is that some of them are really about a particular group of people, like disabled people or trans-gender people, whereas others include everybody, like gender and belief.

The one I've become acutely aware of in the last couple of years, is disability. I don't think there had ever been an easier time or place to be disabled than 21st century Britain. Of course, it's not perfect but for the most part, it's not bad. I can access most places and there's often help available. The only thing I would say, is that disabled 'helps' only ever seem to come in ones.

Toilets - usually one accessible loo and several ladies/gents. That's not a big deal. After all, we are in a minority. It comes down to the ability to share though. I can't share your facilities but you can decide to use mine. Most people get this and don't, but it gets frustrating when people use 'my' toilet because it's nearer or more private. I have noticed, it's usually men when they want a poo. Does that make me sexist? Maybe, but it's just an observation.